“I’m so grateful for this tragedy. I’m really looking forward to growing from it,” said No One – EVER. I learned long ago not to tell clients that their problems are blessings in disguise. One woman nearly slapped me, but pulled herself together in time to diplomatically say that she would like to have a few less “growth opportunities.”
The new goal I push is to use both the problems and the successes. I like to remind my clients that they are so powerful that the objective is to put every situation in service to them.
Learning Through Pain – It’s Still Crap
The first step with any hardship is to not whitewash it. It never helps to force yourself to look at the bright side of a problem until the crappy nature of it has first been acknowledged. Your mindset in this situation is key. It isn’t that the problem isn’t garbage, it is that you are SO powerful that you can transform it into a benefit to your life. When we look at economic downturn, I don’t know any executives who start cheering, but I know quite a few executives who seek to consolidate market share and get their teams laser-focused.
After losing a dear loved one, it is always an insult to hear that you’ll heal in time or that it will get easier. No, it will get richer and more layered, and the pain will somehow become a beautiful pain, and the overpowering gratitude you hold for the effect of their life on you will carry you. It will make you deeper and more compassionate, but it is definitely not going to just shore up and be easy. Every pain can be turned into a beauty, not because it was a hidden gem, but because your willingness to put it in service to you and make it work is what actually transforms it. If it is not used, then it will only lead to bitterness and excuses. Taking the time to look clearly at the situation and then deciding how to transform it into something new and beneficial, is where the true effort and talent resides.
Learning Through Joy – The Ultimate Challenge
Learning through joy is really the ultimate goal and the most difficult challenge. Often people are so relieved to be at an easier moment that they just want to rest and enjoy the ride. When life is going great, it is easy to miss the opportunity to put the joy and success in service to you. When your team is getting along great and working in harmony, that is the best time to notice why it is working and seek to create sustainable patterns around it. What is making the team gel? Why is the communication so great? When the economy is humming, that’s the time to make sure investments are going in the right direction and to look at all the budget line items. When your personal life feels easy, did you take the time to notice why? Maybe you are taking great care of your health and giving yourself space for rest and connection. There is a reason behind the successful, joyful moments too. My most advanced clients are willing to start coaching during points of joy and not wait for the pain. They are willing to use the joy to tell them what is working and where to expand. Joy is an excellent teacher if you take the time to reflect and ask what it is here to teach you.
It’s ALL Good!
When you shift your thinking to understand that all of the circumstances in your life and business are here to be in service, you shift your lens to one of being truly powerful. The circumstances themselves are no longer in control of you. You are in control because you’ve decided that they will all be in your service.