People seem obsessed with their weaknesses.
I work with brilliant executives that show up with a list of areas in which they explain to me how they’re failing and want to talk about how to get better at these. They tend to have these perfectionistic ideas about being an all in one package that can meet all needs. They glorify their efforts to improve and put down their natural gifts and talents because these seem easy to them. Any suggestion that being all things to all situations may not be achievable, or even desirable, is met with indignation and a double-down on the desire towards so-called self-improvement.
However, the origin of this kind of desire for “self-improvement” is just a fear of not being enough and a sense of inadequacy. The fear seems to say that if I am not everything to all, then I am nothing at all. An impossible state of self-erosion that discounts the best in us. It leaves us exhausted and in a constant state of despair. So, other than addressing how this nasty insecurity has occurred and how to remedy it, I am not interested in discussing how one can get better at their weaknesses. Truly, I don’t give a hummingbird’s fart about what they aren’t good at. I am, however, very concerned with how they can become more excellent, more honed, more conscious and more consistent in their strengths. The paradox of this is that while focusing on their strengths, answers for the feared weaknesses surface.
Why do we zero in on the petty?
I remember an MBA management class where we were given a case study to resolve. It involved a brilliant engineer that delivered imaginative, masterful designs but wore weird clothes and came into the office at odd hours. We were tasked with how to address this concerning engineer. As young, over-eager students we came up with nuanced HR strategies to redirect and incentivize the wayward employee. We thought we were all so brilliant and were self-righteous in our ideas of redirection. In the lesson, I still remember, the professor deemed us all ignorant idiots and asked if we were getting exceptional results from the engineer, why would we putter into petty territory? He said it was a classic beginner’s mistake and sent us home for the day.
The best leaders and even power couples I know have extremely compatible qualities. I know a genius CEO with business acumen and an unmatched market sense. He can see exactly where the company needs to aim and creates exceptional plans. Fortunately, the president of the organization is equally matched in meticulous implementation and problem solving towards the goal because I’m not sure the CEO could follow the directions for an IKEA bookshelf. But, he doesn’t need to. His strength is in the visioning, and it gives “what the wow” results! The brilliant president has unmatched implementation abilities and overcomes what can seem like impossible hurdles, but the business would be utterly stagnant if it relied on her to set direction.
Your winning skills, your natural strengths, are the areas that most need to be highlighted, strengthened and sharpened.
They are your ticket to what makes you happiest and still allows you to have energy at the end of the day. We so often put down these strengths because they seem “easy” to us but they are only “easy” because of our exceptional abilities. My dear friend Trisha is a magnificent artist. She’ll show me her most recent masterpiece and as I gush she brushes it off and tells me it is nothing. She found a stick on the road and an old can and voila – a stunning creation! I assure her that if I put together a stick and an old can, it would look like a stick and an old can, maybe worse. It’s easy for her but her talent is a gift to the world.
Ready to re-focus?
The questions to ask, if you are truly interested in sustainable success, some energy at the end of the day and a sense of happiness are:
- What are your strengths?
- How can you get support for your strength?
Start with your success and you are already ahead. Even your weaknesses are resolved through your strengths. Receiving help is not a failing. The most successful are those excited about their strengths and appreciative of others’. You know you’ve hit a winner when the person can receive as well as they give.
